70 Times 7 Times

Recently, to justify my unforgiving spirit, I reasoned the following:

"What was done to me was hurtful."

"It has happened repeatedly. It's becoming a cycle."

"I won't forgive you any more just because you say a simple, 'I'm sorry.'"

"I need more than that."

I even thought of the "preacher story" of the lying post. Everytime the child told a lie, the dad drove a nail into a fencepost out back of the house. When he asked forgiveness Dad pulled a nail. But the wound, the hole remained. Forgiveness doesn't fix everything.

Then my hardness of heart is exposed by the Holy Spirit whispering the words of the Lord to Peter, "70 times 7 times..." He leads me to the truth of my part in this frustrating cycle. Matthew records Peter asking Jesus how many times he must forgive someone who wrongs him. Jesus replies 70 times 7 times. Luke records Jesus saying if a person sins against us 7 times in one day and turns to us asking forgiveness, we are to forgive them each time.

I don't get to keep a tally sheet. I don't get to assess sincerity. I don't get to set a timer or deadline. I don't get to ask for more than that.

The sameness of the offence, the mutliple times, frequency of repeated hurt does not alter my requirement to forgive. To with hold forgiveness is not an option. The simple, "sorry..." is enough.

I do need more, however. More grace, more mercy, more of God's life in me. The One who calls me to be this forgiving, to live without lists, to function free of grudges is the One who has forgiven so much more in me, zeroes out my account and allows me to live free. So I ask Him to forgive my unforgiveness and as He does, grace and forgiveness flow through me and it washes away that small thing I was trying to hold over someone else. He extracted no price, He paid it for me.